I was made for summer.

So far, June has been jam-packed!

I'm a summer girl-at-heart, born and bred for flip flops and popsicles and all-things-garden.
As a caregiver now, it gets harder, some days, to delight in these days. They aren't exactly as restful as they were back then.

But I'm still that girl, still exactly the girl I was designed to be.
The magic is still here, just waiting to be found.

I was born somewhere in the cut-grass, berry-ripe heat of a lazy August day.
Thinking back to my childhood, I catch blips and glimpses of cold winter days building a snowman, snuggling under a feather blanket at night. Of course I remember Christmas Eves, snow forts, hand knitted mittens.

There were leaf piles and school supplies and the hopeful tips of tulips kissing straight through the frosty earth.

All of it rests at the periphery. It’s fuzzy at the edges, hollow in the center, a basket holding the bulk of my youth, somehow wrapped and folded into three sticky months as though they were all there ever was. I remember the other nine, but my three favorites, are stitched in and through me, in crazy dizzying loops.

I was made for summer.

I’m still the little girl running through the sprinkler. I am strawberry shortcake in a Styrofoam bowl and plastic fork. I’m stacks of books reading about the Clock family on a blanket under the hydrangea bushes, a bowl of cherries at my fingertips. I’m the ocean and sun-tan oil. An eager garden weeder. I’m fireflies at dusk.

Only now, I’m grown up with a marriage, a mortgage, children of my own, and enough joy to light up my days and evenings with the pulsing emotional current of real life.

An average summer day now finds me negotiating, managing, organizing, entertaining, packing/unpacking, and chauffeuring... cleaning up more messes than I ever remember making back when I was on the “giving” end of this equation.

I’ll be honest, some days it’s hard to remember that this is where the best of me lives.

I am thankful for all the blessings I had, but today, there aren’t any creeks to wade through and I don’t own a single sprinkler.  Now what?

It seems the charm of a wonky black-and-white TV and laying awake late at night because it’s too humid to sleep can get lost somewhere, twisted into the vortex of a Wi-Fi signal or numbed by the central air.

But outside my window I hear the crickets and the soothing moan of a lonesome train whistle. This is my summer symphony and I am at peace.

My hearts belongs to this season, and right now, it's full of summer. The details are different from my childhood summers, but the memories are the same.

I’ve heard rumors that the glory days are past us, I don’t think that’s right.

I think the best is yet to come, right when my messy life collides with grace, free from the oil-slick mirage of nostalgia. I'm busy writing the stories, I think the ink is still wet. I'm crafted in wonder, cast in Life's goodness, placed with purpose in this  time and place.

My summers look different now. They ask more of me. But for better or worse, I’ll throw the windows open some days just to let the heat lull me into the bliss of boredom.

In between playing judge and jury, life coach and line cook, I’ll stop to remember I’m still that little girl with nose plugs standing at the end of the high dive when I barely know how to swim.
This life is an adventure. It’s oh so good to me.

Some things may change but who I am never does.

July is closing in, a big sweaty hug. I'm taking a look around me. This is my life right now and it needs me.

I choose to hug it back.
Choose to dive in.

just sayin'.

Sugar Cookie Pizza

Crust

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 and 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch

Topping

8 oz full-fat cream cheese, softened to room temperature
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1-2 Tablespoons cream or milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
assorted sliced fresh fruit

Make the crust: In a large bowl using a hand-held mixer or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream the softened butter for about 1 minute on medium speed. Get it nice and smooth, then add the sugar on medium speed until fluffy and light in color. Beat in egg and vanilla. Scrape down the sides as needed.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, and cornstarch. With the mixer running on low speed, slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in 3 different parts. Once completely combined, cover the dough tightly and chill in the refrigerator for 30 minutes and up to 1 day. Without chilling, your cookie dough may spread over the sides of the pan.

Preheat oven to 350F degrees. Spray a 12-inch pizza pan with cooking spray. Remove chilled cookie dough from the refrigerator and press onto the pizza pan in an even flat circle. Bake for 18-20 minutes or until the edges are very lightly browned. Overbaking will lend a hard crust. Allow crust to cool completely before decorating. I put the crust in the refrigerator after 10 minutes of cooling at room temperature - this sped up the process.

I usually use this time (as the crust cools) to chop the fruit.

Make the frosting: In a medium bowl using a handheld or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese and butter together on medium speed until smooth, about 2 minutes. Add the confectioners’ sugar and 1 Tbsp cream. Beat for 2 minutes. Add the vanilla and 1 more Tbsp cream if needed to thin out. Beat for 1 minute. Spread in a thick layer over the cooled sugar cookie crust.

Decorate with fruit.

Cut into slices and serve. Fruit pizza may be made 1 day in advance, covered tightly, and stored in the refrigerator before serving. Leftovers keep well in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.